Five years of ramblings

Happy fifth birthday blog! Wow! Hard to believe that this site ... started on a total whim ... is still chugging along, churning out strange black and white characters (I'm referring to the alphabet) that tell the stories of strange colorful characters ... who live in the high mountains or far flung lands ... splattered by photos that have frozen memorable moments ... the moments that have linked my way on this journey to find out ...

In honor of five years, here is my very first blog post, dated Nov. 14, 2005.

It's not that I'm scared to go, I'm scared of what I'll leave behind

Here I am sitting at my desk in Anchorage, Alaska with the cold winter air pressing through the windows. This week I am planning to go to the new Warren Miller film with a bunch of friends, a tradition that has always marked the coming of winter. Thus it is strange to realize that in a little less than two months I will be stepping on a plane that will take me south... take me off to new adventures, places and people...take me to Guatemala.

I stopped today and asked myself why exactly I am leaving this place that is my home. This place that has wide open bowls for backcountry skiing, full moons over the Chugach mountains and the dazzling northern lights.

The answer is simple. To learn and grow.

When I think of the challenges ahead I feel both scared and excited. It's like this breathless emotion that makes my lips smile and my heart sink simultaneously.

So far I have done a fairly good job of keeping the fear at bay. It helps that I have been to Central America before and that I spent three months as an exchange student in Argentina in high school. This time I know what I'm getting into. This time I know that I am going to place where I will know no one and not feel completely at ease communicating even the basics.

And yet I am still choosing to go.

At this juncture in my ramblings I am struck by this idea: it's not that I'm scared to go, I'm scared of what I'll leave behind. In addition to my beloved Alaskan winters, I will also be leaving so many amazing people- people that make my days wonderful. That's hard to reconcile!

I can't help but wonder how this experience will change my thinking? I highly doubt that it will change the core of who I am but I am almost certain that it will change some of the ways I think about and approach the world. But how? I guess that is why I'm going... to find out how.

To life's beauty and goodness,

Amy